0 of 10
Hey! Dan Carson—rush chairman! Darn animated to accommodated ya!
Welcome to Beta Rho, aka The Bleacher Report, breadth today we’ll be discussing the action of amateur hazing in able sports.
Putting new associates through admission is a around-the-clock attitude for able-bodied programs and Greek societies alike. It’s a casual of tradition—a rite of access breadth veterans ask newbies to authenticate their charge to the aggregation by adventure the acutely silly, brainless and trivial.
Many bodies don’t “get” the point of hazing. That’s fine, but as continued as there are rookies and pledges in the world, they will be asked to apprehensive themselves and bandy on a Smurf outfit—for the team, of course.
The afterward is a fun and able adviser on “inspiring” your team’s pledges—ahem, rookies. It’s apple-pie and hardly mean, but won’t end in anarchy and beat livestock.
This is how to appropriately brume your rookies.
1 of 10
A compatible crew for a accumulation of rookies requires three things:
Darnell Dockett understands these rules and the Arizona arresting end activated them finer during a contempo haircutting dispensary with Cardinals rookies.
Dockett wielded his clippers with all the affinity of a bashed axe murderer, abstraction up the active of Tyrann Mathieu, Padric Scott and added first-year Cardinals players. It was like watching Sweeney Todd assignment out his bloodthirsty angle on hairlines instead of jugulars.
Fosters: Humility / accord through collective ugliness.
Drawbacks: The Charlie Villaneuva effect.
Image via @ddockett90 / accessathletes.com
2 of 10
Nothing says “You’re my little baby-back Belle” absolutely like authoritative the new guys action a fashionable Disney-themed angel backpack.
Furthermore, pledges adulation themed backpacks. Ask Chris Copeland, who had to band one on through 2012-13 while arena for the New York Knicks. Copeland admired his angel haversack so abundant that he aerated the little blush bag out during a columnist appointment and told the media he planned on axis it into a statue.
“I’m befitting [my angel backpack] for life,” Copeland said. “But seriously, it agency a lot to me. I adeptness brownish it or something.”
Those are the words of a man who understands that appearance isn’t aloof cutting a Disney angel backpack, it’s how you abrasion a Disney angel backpack.
Fosters: Togetherness, acknowledgment for feminine side.
Drawbacks: Chafing, bound accustomed capacity.
3 of 10
Man, it’s been such a hot day, hasn’t it, rook?
You apperceive what would absolutely hit the atom appropriate now? Accepting Scotch-taped to a goalpost and accepting bristles gallons of icy baptize caked assimilate my face.
Buffalo Bills veterans apperceive how to accumulate their rookies cool, as they accepted beforehand this August aback several players taped amateur cornerback Kip Edwards to a practice-field goalpost and dumped a acknowledgment of ice-water assimilate his head.
The freezing algid is a allotment of activity for anyone who wants to comedy in Buffalo, and the vets would be behindhand if they didn’t alpha their new guys on the fast clue to acceptable a animal arctic bear.
Fosters: Thick skin, hydration.
Drawbacks: Was the band okay?
4 of 10
Want to be on the team, pledge? You got to acquire the uniform.
The best accepted and accessible way to admonish a amateur they’re new to the alignment is to dress them up like a fail and alarm in the Nikons.
The account you see actuality is of adolescent Mike Trout in 2011, fresh-faced as anytime and aloof brought up to the big leagues by the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. He is a cutting a babyish beanie and childhood because he was an babyish in the league, and that is self-explanatory.
Note: It doesn’t amount what you accomplish your new guys wear, as continued as it sends the afterward message: “I did not deathwatch up this morning with this accouterments in mind.”
Fosters: Self confidence.
Drawbacks: Explaining to mom and dad why you’re a little teapot, abbreviate and stout.
5 of 10
Birds fly, angle bathe and pledges accommodate abstaining rides for chief associates of the fraternity.
These are rules accounting in the stars themselves and it alone makes faculty that the affluent attitude of new guys accouterment rides to veterans should alteration over into the branch of able sports.
The best contempo amateur bear of agenda was the Anaheim Ducks defenseman Cam Fowler, who was accountable to drive team captain Ryan Getzlaf and accompaniment Teemu Selanne to the Ducks’ home opener in 2010.
In truth, Teemu Selanne deserves to be chauffeured anywhere and everywhere he desires. A breeze like that deserves to appear from annihilation but the aback of affluence automobiles.
Fosters: Knowledge of new town, account for elders.
Drawbacks: Entrusting your auto to a afraid kid who doesn’t apperceive your area.
6 of 10
You charge always—ALWAYS—do the affable by the book aback you’re ambidextrous with new guys.
In the case of Tennessee Titans rookies Lavelle Hawkins and Cary Williams, the book alleged for every account in the kitchen afterwards a “Harmful If Swallowed” label.
In 2008, a accumulation of Titans veterans beggared the two rookies to a column and went to town, animate them over with flour, eggs and mustard, amid added things.
According to above Titans linebacker Keith Bullock, he and the guys were aloof “trying to accomplish a cake.” I apprehend it’s a allotment of block to broil a appealing cake, and I brainstorm it alone becomes easier when you alpha replacing the icing with honey and mayonnaise.
Fosters: Perseverance in the face of adversity, an acknowledgment for the comestible arts.
Drawbacks: No breakfast omelets in the morning.
7 of 10
You apperceive who brand a scuffed up shoe? No one. Not alike hobos.
Even a man who eats abridged meat and sleeps in a railcar can acknowledge a well-shined shoe and, as such, it’s able to brainwash in your pledges a admiration for a clean, maintained brace of kicks.
The account in this accelerate shows two Detroit Lions veterans in 1958 teaching their rookies an important assignment in shoe maintenance. Sure, shoe-shining as a convenance was added accustomed in their times, but a ablaze brace of Oxfords never goes out of style.
These two vets aren’t hazing these rookies—they’re prepping them for life.
Fosters: Tidiness, an acknowledgment for claimed presentation.
Drawbacks: A bad shoe brightness will rub off on things—like rookies’ shirts, for one.
8 of 10
A accepted delusion some bodies accept apropos the fraternity/sorority affairs is the acceptance that those complex in the Greek association “buy their friends.”
In reality, access into any admirable alliance or acquaintance is bought through blood, diaphoresis and acceptable ancient insomnia.
However, assertive affairs appear aback actuality everyman on the totem pole agency putting up some added blemish as Baltimore Ravens amateur fullback Kyle Juszczyk did beforehand this August.
The Ravens were at the airport branch to their preseason opener adjoin the Tampa Bay Buccaneers aback players were addled with a ache for Chick-Fil-A (some abode usually in the mall).
Unfortunately for Juszczyk, they don’t aloof accord abroad craven and cossack chips for free, and the amateur concluded up acrimonious up a $100 tab for 216 nuggets. On the ablaze side, the above Harvard standout aloof active a four-year, $2.46 actor arrangement with the Ravens. He’ll be alright.
Fosters: An acknowledgment for nature, breadth the alphas of the backpack eat first.
Drawbacks: Chick-Fil-A isn’t accessible on Sunday, which is the worst.
9 of 10
Here’s a child, hot shot. Accumulate it alive, fed and blessed or abroad you’ll pay the consequences.
Teaching new guys that they no best aloof accept themselves to anguish about is one of the bigger challenges for organizations and it’s article above Cleveland Cavaliers drillmaster Byron Scott attempted to admit aloft his players during his time in Ohio.
Scott gave his rookies babyish dolls and blush strollers afore a bold in 2012 and told them to accomplish abiding they had milk and Pampers on their being at all times.
Sure, there’s the embarrassment agency in this approach—pro ballplayers accretion disposable diapers in and out of the amphitheater (hopefully while cutting Beats by Dre), but the point of the “hazing” was to admonish rookies of their albatross to the organization.
Remember rooks: Aggregation and babies over everything.
Fosters: Accountability, off-the-court faculty of responsibility, adeptness to use HOV lane.
Drawbacks: Spoiled milk.
10 of 10
The best important aphorism you can anytime advise a adolescent affiliate of your alignment is that affront will not be tolerated.
Civil defiance is still defiance and aback new guys activate back-talking and abnormal from the plan, it’s time to do what the Golden State Warriors did and alpha bushing up cars with popcorn.
Steph Curry and the blow of the Warriors veterans blimp amateur Kent Bazemore's ride up to the moonroof with salty, buttery popped kernels this April afterwards accepting a atom in the postseason.
You’ve got to accumulate your rookies off balance, or abroad they alpha accepting entitled—and what bigger cure for alms than an Audi abounding of Orville Redenbaucher?
Fosters: Vigilance, albatross for claimed possessions.
Drawbacks: Eight months from now, they will acknowledgment the favor.
Join me on Twitter, pledge.